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The Madman of Barbados

How many pirates does it take to set an archipelago on fire? Thatch. - Mallhalla purchase description

As the story goes...[]

"An old sea shanty tells the tale of a buccaneer who went mad drinking gunpowder and grog. Every time he sailed into battle, he'd set his own ship aflame so there could be no retreat. I forget how it goes, but the chorus includes the phrase "high turnover rate". '" -Oldish Pete, proprietor of The Anchor and Pistol

Thatch won his ship from the devil with the devil's own double-headed coin, and aboard it, he wreaked more havoc than any pirate before or since. His love of black powder and obsession with setting the world aflame combined to sink hundreds of ships, sack dozens of ports, and prematurely erupt at least two volcanoes.

Thatch's ship had so many ghosts, they haunted in shifts. He plays his favorite drinking game, "Drink every time Thatch has a beard." He claims to be married to the sea and has a marriage license to prove it. He has a face only a mother could love if he hadn't made her walk the plank.

For Thatch, the Tournament is a paradise of chaos and fire, but even that doesn't slake his thirst for mayhem. He aids in Vraxx's schemes to conquer Valhalla out of sheer bloody-mindedness, and when bored will lay deadly traps he calls 'pranks' for his fellow Legends. He sneaks out at night to dig holes, knowing the gods must have buried treasure somewhere.

"Ye call this grog? I can still feel me face." -Thatch, to a stuffed deer head over the bar


Being a pirate, Thatch wears very a typical outfit for his “line of work” – trousers and a loose-fitting shirt with tasseled shoulder pads that only joins at the waist and shows his bare chest. Unsurprisingly, apart from the light-blue trousers, all of his clothing is bloody red – and which of it is real blood and which is dye is a tough question to answer. This colour matches his three-pointed and notably big pirate's hat, which displays a skull emblem on the front. All of his clothing is torn and slashed and barely held together by ragged stitching in many places, having survived a plethora of swashbuckling like the rough-and-ready Madman of Barbados himself. To complete his sea-faring attire, Thatch has a typical pirate's beard so unbelievably scruffy and unkempt that it somehow manages to reach even higher than his eyebrows – which are equally untidy. His tattered face also shows the maniacal grin of one who adores mayhem and displays a single golden tooth in his gnarled facial features.



Input Description Damage Stun Force
Neutral A circling shark builds up to this tremendous upwards slash, throwing water upwards in an arc from the ground, and hitting everything in front and above in front of Thatch.


After a short delay, Thatch makes two rapid, forward running slashes, one sweeping up followed quickly by another stronger, wider slash sweeping down.
A close, defensive sideways slash that carries Thatch back slightly, followed by another slightly wider slash in the same location.


Input Description Damage Stun Force
Neutral Two quick, short blunderbuss-style blasts from Thatch's blasters, one after another. The second blast is much larger, and both blasts carry Thatch back a small step.


Thatch lets loose with both barrels of his pistols simultaneously, hitting everything directly in front with a single spraying blast.
Thatch sends a volley of two large cannonballs, which travel in a long arc forward and explode against any opponent or surface in the way. They travel forward and then down slightly before exploding if there is no platform in the way.

Color Variations[]



  • Thatch's default weapons are the Boarding Cutlass (Sword) and the Hand Cannons (Blasters).
  • Thatch's bot name is Thatchomaton.
  • Most definitely a reference to notorious and well-known early 18th-century pirate Blackbeard, whose real name was Edward Teach, or Edward Thatch.
  • It is mentioned in Thatch's lore that he joins Lord Vraxx in attempts to conquer Valhalla, although mostly for the chaos and mayhem, rather than any domination.
  • It's heavily implied that the coin Thatch used to win his ship is the same coin Cross uses to bind devils to his service.
  • Thatch was added August 26th, 2014.
  • As of patch 5.00, Thatch's base model and few skins got remodeled.